The Disastrous Love Life of Saiki K
by semperbrevis
Summary: Basically Teruhashi x Saiki, but it takes a long time to get there. Rated T for language and an anti-social psychic falling in love. Rating may change, but it probably won't.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Surprise surprise.

**A prologue by Saiki.**

Psychic powers. They make the impossible possible. With psychic powers, spoons can be bent, thoughts can be read, anything is possible.

But unfortunately, they aren't real.

Everyone knows this.

They only exist in movie and books.

But, as you know, that's not quite true anymore.

16 years ago an ordinary couple gave birth to a baby boy, who was anything but ordinary, and also happened to be me.

When I was 14 days old, I started talking. Without moving my mouth.

Anyway, if you've watched the anime or read the manga, you know all about me, and if you haven't, well, I have no idea what you're doing here. You know what comes next. My psychic powers turn to not be so convenient, and I have a bunch of annoyances following me around 24/7.

Or at least that's how the anime and manga go.

However, this is a fanfiction, and if it perfectly followed the anime or manga, it wouldn't be very interesting, would it?

So, the author of this, after watching my anime, decided to write something that would _never _happen in real life and is completely unrealistic. I would _never _do this. It would never happen. It _couldn't _ever happen. I would not _allow _it to happen.

But, unfortunately, this is a fanfiction written by someone who does not care what I would or would not do.

I hope you sick bastards enjoy my suffering.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own it.

**Chapter One**

**(I apologize if any of the names are spelled wrong)**

**But first, a note from Kusuo: None of this is real. I would never do any of this. You shouldn't read this, because it is so unrealistic it may make you lose interest in my anime and/or manga. I WOULD NEVER DO ANY OF THIS. Just wanted to make that clear.**

Teruhashi's POV

I shivered as I walked along the snow-encrusted path and wrapped my scarf tighter around my face. It was cold, only 20 degrees Fahrenheit, and I still had a mile to walk. But it would be worth it, I told myself, worth it to see Saiki go 'oh wow!' when I showed up suddenly at his house to spend New Year's Eve with him. But sometimes I wondered if he would ever take notice of me, if he simply didn't like me. I shook my head firmly. There was not a boy alive who could resist my charm! Saiki would crack eventually.

"Hey, Kusuo, let's play rock paper scissors!"

My ears perked up at the sound of Saiki's name, and I hurried my pace. I walked around the bend and saw Saiki's older brother taking a walk with the pink haired teenager. Saiki seemed quite annoyed, and I couldn't blame him. I had met his brother before, and I couldn't say I really liked him.

"Oh, Saiki! I didn't expect to see you out here!" I exclaimed in fake surprise.

Saiki looked away from his brother and towards me, but he didn't seem surprised to see me.

"Oh, I remember you!" Said Kusuke. "What are you doing here? I thought I told you last time we met you aren't good enough for Kusuo!"

Saiki rolled his eyes.

"Oh," I said, looking down an pretending to be hurt by what he said. "I was just thinking that, since I don't have anything to do tonight, I would see if you wouldn't mind me staying at your house until twelve."

I thought I heard a 'yare yare,' which probably came from Saiki.

Kusuke thought for a moment, and then a mischievous smirk appeared on his face.

Saiki narrowed his eyes at his older brother.

"That sounds like a great idea!" Kusuke said. "Our house isn't too far away. Let's go!"

I didn't exactly trust Saiki's brother, but I wasn't passing up a chance to spend the last day of the year with Saiki.

"Oh, really? Thank you!" I said, using my patented 'New Year's Eve smile.'

Saiki sighed, but started back towards his house with Kusuke.

I followed.

"So, do you have any New Year's Eve traditions?" I asked. Saiki said nothing.

"Um, no not really," Said Kusuke, who seemed much more hospitable towards me for some reason. "Kusuo usually just prefers to have a quiet New Year's Eve, and for me it's no different than any other night."

"Oh," I said, and hoped I hadn't made Saiki angry by disturbing his New Year's Eve.

I heard another 'yare yare.'

"Kusuo, we never played rock paper scissors, let's do it now!"

I had no idea why Kusuke had such an obsession with rock paper scissors, but he seemed to lose every time he played it with Kusuo.

Kusuke sulked in defeat after he lost yet again, and a moment later said, "Well, I'm going on ahead. I'll see you two back at the house!" He jogged ahead.

Kusuo's brother was very strange.

* * *

Saiki's POV

I was stuck with Teruhashi again. I had no idea what my slimeball of a brother was up to, but I knew it couldn't be good.

I glanced sideways at Teruhashi, who seemed to be debating something in her head.

I had put on my germanium ring, because New Year's Eve thoughts were either really happy or really depressing. And I didn't want to deal with either of those.

However, that also meant not knowing what Teruhashi was thinking.

As I was debating whether or not to keep the ring on, I failed to notice Teruhashi coming closer to me. She put her small, cold hand in mine, and a deep blush spread across her face.

I froze. What was she doing? Should I pull away from her or tolerate her? I wanted to read her mind, but She was grabbing on to the hand that had my ring on it, so I couldn't take it off unless I pulled away from her.

Her grip was tight, and would almost certainly have hurt a normal person. I sighed. We were almost to my house, so I wouldn't have to endure this much longer.

She seemed to notice my uncomfort. "Oh, I'm sorry," She said. "It's just so cold out..." She looked away, pretending to be embarrassed.

_Yare yare. _I thought. I guess part of that did make sense. It was cold out, and I was warm due to my pyrokenisis.

But we had arrived at my house, so I didn't have to worry about it any more.

Teruhashi let go of my hand as we walked up to the front door. I knocked on the door, and my mother came running to let us in.

You can guess what her thoughts were upon seeing me with Teruhashi.

"Hello, Saiki-san! I hope I'm not imposing!" Said Teruhashi. My mother was delighted.

"Oh, no, that's fine!" She gushed. "Ku-chan usually just spends New Year's Eve alone and it'll be nice to have some company! Big Ku just left here, I don't know why. Have you met him before?"

Teruhashi almost let her 'perfect pretty girl' facade crumble when she heard Kusuke's name. "Oh, yes..." she said. "I've met him before."

My mother smiled. "Well, I'm sure he'll be back soon!"

"Oh... good." said Teruhashi.

"Well, come in, come in!" Said my mother. "It's cold out tonight!"

* * *

Teruhashi's POV

_Yes! Saiki's annoying older brother is gone! _I thought. _Now I can spend the whole night with Saiki!_

"So, did you have anything you wanted to do?" Kurumi asked.

"Well," I said, "I do have a little New Year's Eve tradition-"

"Oh really? What is it?" Asked Kurumi, who always seemed very excited about everything. She was so different from Saiki that sometimes I wondered how they were related.

"Well," I continued, "I usually watch a horror movie with my brother. It's okay if you don't like that type of thing, though!"

"Oh, no, Ku loves horror movies!" Kurumi said.

I glanced over at Saiki, and his expression made me wonder if it was true.

"Did you have anything in mind?"

"Um, well, I've heard The Shining is really good, but I haven't watched it yet."

"Alright! We'll watch that!"

* * *

Saiki's POV

I don't generally like horror movies. Mostly because lots of people like them, and they're spoiled for me. There have been a few that I've enjoyed though.

I never thought Teruhashi would be the type to like them, and I don't think she does. I think she's trying to do that thing Toritsuka was talking about once, where you mistake fear for attraction for somebody. It won't work on me, though. The Shining is one of the most popular horror movies, which means I know exactly what happens in it.

"All right! I'll go get it started!" Said my overly happy mother, and I was left alone with Teruhashi. _Again._

"Is it true that you like horror movies, Saiki?" Teruhashi asked.

I shrugged.

"Well, I've heard that The Shining is really scary, but I hope it's not too scary!"

_Liar. You want it to be super scary. _I thought.

Teruhashi didn't say anything else, which I was glad for.

"The movie's ready!" Called my mother from the living room.

I sighed.

* * *

**A/N- Well, that's the first chapter! I hope you liked it! Please leave a review saying what you thought!**


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